I’m presently located on the Crow Indian Reservation in SE Montana, specifically in the town of Crow Agency. If you’re new to my journey, I spent seven years of my life in this community going back some 25 years ago during the late 80s and early 90s. I’ve been on the Crow Rez now for just over two weeks after being in Western Nebraska for 5 weeks. My plan is to stay at least through Crow Fair (3rd weekend of August). It's the biggest powwow and tribal celebration of the year.
After that, I’ll be parked at a fork in the Uttermost Road wondering which way to go next.
It’s not that I don’t have in mind places to go, people see, and ministry to pursue. I certainly do. But what I mean by a “fork” in the Uttermost Road is that I’ve reached a point where I can’t go any further on the resources I’ve been using because I’m about to run them dry. My “fuel tank” is just about on empty.
When I decided to follow my heart and launch out on the Uttermost Road, I did so knowingly with several obstacles and risks in plain view. In fact, these obstacles and risks nearly persuaded me from sailing in the first place...a persuasion induced by fear from what I referred to as the “roar of a lion.” Instead, I listened to a different roar...that of a still small voice within me that said, “Fear not. I've got your back.” (To hear a related audio message entitled "Roaring Lions With No Teeth," go to this link and scroll to the bottom of this page)
I’m so glad I listened to that voice and decided to travel the Uttermost Road. On so many levels, the journey has been more than worth every dollar I’ve spent and every dollar I haven’t earned since walking away from my last job about a year and a half ago.
I’d make the same decision again in a heartbeat...because my heart is alive and beating once again!
The cost...not much of one really, when I think about the gain. On a relational level, the reconnections I’ve made with friends and people from the past are invaluable to me (and the new friends I’ve made). On a ministry level, the opportunities to love and speak life into people have been beyond measure. And on a personal level, as I mentioned before, my heart is alive. Not since Toni’s death have I ever felt the love and nearness of God more than I do now...perhaps ever in my entire life. Because of this, I’ve discovered my calling and purpose again...to announce good news, be it one-on-one over a cup of coffee, or standing before a gathering of listening souls. And the good news is this...you were loved, chosen, and adopted in the triune heart of Creator before the foundation of the world to be holy and blameless IN CHRIST. And there’s nothing you can do to make this any more or any less true.
It’s the truth upon which the entirety of the universe and humanity hinges and consists. So why not rest in this truth...this light...this love? When you do, your night will turn to day and all things will appear new, because they are...and so are you.
In some fashion, I still aim to travel the Uttermost Road. The form it takes might look differently, but the course remains the same...to travel from my innermost to the uttermost! No matter what road you travel, this is the best and most fulfilling way to make the journey. Obviously, one thing I know for sure is to finish and publish the book I’ve been working on for the past two years, Love Your Guts Out. As for the near future, I’m faced with a number of questions:
- Should I park my truck and trailer for a while, find work (even vocational ministry) and save up for another tour along the Uttermost Road?
- Should I take a more radical approach and sell my truck and trailer, then start over in a new direction entirely?
- Should I further develop the ministry aspect of Uttermost Road and find financial partners on a missionary basis or organize as a non-profit ministry?
- Is it a combination of some or all the above, or something else?
The one thing I ask of you at this time is to lift me in your heart as I come to mind. Your support in this way is greatly appreciated and beyond anything that can be measured. Secondly, if you have thoughts, suggestions, ideas, or simply a word of encouragement, I would love to hear from you. I know many of you have taken interest and have followed my journey; not just from the time I hit the Uttermost Road, but since the time Toni became quite ill. You are all treasures in my heart! I am rich beyond words can describe!
Go God & LYGO,